Music Is My Hot, Hot Sex

Pretty evocative title, wouldn’t you say? It’s a song title by a band called CSS that was used in an iPod commercial a few years back and I really liked it. I love music. It satisfies 3 fundamental needs/desires of human beings.

The most obvious is our desire for appealing sounds and harmonies. The second, and somewhat related, is our dichotomic fascination with order and disorder. Music is designed based around a mathematical structure, which we find appealing. Everyone loves a good beat. But also, sometimes musicians disturb that rhythm with slight perturbations that make the piece interesting. Lastly, is it is a form of storytelling. I think so few people these days have any idea what many of the songs they listen to regularly actually mean. When I’m in the car with the kids listening to some of my favorite songs and I notice they take an interest in it, I ask if they know what the song means. Then I explain it to then. I think that really adds depth that intrigues them. I want them to appreciate what the song really is. Granted there are some instances when you just have to throw the lyrics out the window and just enjoy the music. I love Sex Type Thing by Stone Temple Pilots, but it’s about rape, which nobody is a fan of, but it’s a great song (especially the swing type version).

Some sounds are just awesome. No one can resist the beat of Get Ready For This by 2 Unlimited. It just grabs something inside of you and bounces you with the tempo. And many others have that certain something about them that you just love. Don’t Stop Believing by Journey, Numb by Linkin Park, Thriller by Michael Jackson, The Twist by Chubby Checker, Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers, Photograph by Nickelback, The Rose by Bette Midler, Southern Voice by Tim McGraw, Power of Love by Huey Lewis and the News, Firework by Katy Perry, Party Hard by Andrew W.K.… The list goes on.

Some little nuances make some songs really interesting. The song Something There from the Disney release of Beauty and the Beast has a line where Belle sings “new, and a bit alarming” and puts an interesting twist on it. It’s the best part of the song, in my opinion. Many songs change up one or two of the choruses at the end  for a neat effect. The song If You’re Gone by Matchbox Twenty changes the last chorus slightly to say “Hell, baby, you need to come home” which really drives home the message of the song.

Some song lyrics are clever. Some are funny. Some are foul. Some are smooth. And some are just plain beautiful. Some invoke a memory or sensation of a feel-good time or place that people can relate to, such as Pontoon by Little Big Town. Some make fantastic use of the limited words to convey a message through metaphor. One of my favorite examples is If You’re Going Through Hell by Rodney Adkins. The song talks about someone who can’t catch a break and decides to go on a journey of discovery. One of the best lyrics I’ve ever heard is “[you] use the needle of your compass to sew up your broken heart.” That is a really well written and rich line.

Sometimes really beautiful can be a bit hidden. The song Still Remains by Stone Temple Pilots is about a guy who is so in love with his woman that he cherishes every moment he has with her. Even when she dies, he would miss her so much that he would want to join her (“if you should die before me, ask if you can bring a friend”). The one line that I think gets most overlooked, because most people dismiss it as gross, is “take a bath, I’ll drink the water that you leave.” But the intention of it is quite beautiful. He thinks so highly of this person, that he would gladly take even that from them that is just “washed off” because it is still a part of them. Admittedly, when I first heard this song when it came out in 1994, I sort of dismissed the “love” references in the verses because the chorus so succinctly described how I felt about my best friend. Perhaps that’s why I connect with the song so much.

Well, there you have it. My take on music. There are thousands of songs I could go on about, but hey, I’ve gotta stop somewhere. I hope you enjoyed this little Journey.

We’ll Have A Gay Old Time

On June 26th, (for those who don’t know) the Supreme Court ruled that gays and lesbians can legally get married in all 50 states. This ruling was met with elation and cheering and celebration and indifference and disappointment and anger and disgust. There is a large part of the nation that believes it is wrong for a same sex couple to be married, claiming the bible says it is forbidden.

Well, I’ve got news boys and girls, there’s a lot more that the bible frowns upon that is conveniently swept under the rug. By that rationale, say goodbye to ham sandwiches, tattoos, divorce, women speaking in church, and shaving among other things). (There is a really good article about this in the Huffington Post.) I’m no expert in the gospel and certainly don’t feel that I’m holier than thou art (hey, I like a good ham sandwich). It’s only to prove a point.

I’m not gay, but I am a human being, and I know what it’s like to love someone. I would be outraged if I was told I couldn’t be with that person because people that didn’t even know me, felt it was against their beliefs. If you feel it is wrong for gay people to marry and it’s against your beliefs, don’t marry someone of the same sex as you. Done. That concludes the level of your involvement in the matter.

And that brings me to the ultimate irony of the timing of this controversy. This law passed 1 week before Independence Day. For those who don’t remember, let’s review. This country was founded on this EXACT same principle. We fled England to get away from religious oppression. You know, other people forcing their religious views on our way of life. Frankly, I’m amazed it took this long. There are 2 things in the First Amendment of the Constitution that already spell this out: “separation of church and state” (Thomas Jefferson’s interpretation of the Establishment Clause) and freedom of religion. (“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…“)

You may be wondering why I would go to such length to prove a point about something that virtually doesn’t affect me. Well, I’m not a big fan of people disrupting other people’s lives just because they don’t like something about it. Hey, I don’t like The Bachelor/Bachelorette, but ABC is going to air that turd anyway. That’s life, deal with it. I happen to know at least 1 person that’s gay, and you know what, that person is awesome. Kind, hard-working, fun, helpful and a good friend. We’re all people. We have enough problems with other people trying to blow us up, rip us off, or take advantage of us, to be fighting with each other over something so petty.

If you read this and agree, great. If you think it’s total horse crap, that’s fine too. You’re entitled to your opinion. But if 1 person reads this and it changes their outlook for the better, it was worth the effort. Be that 1 person.

Electric Avenue

So, it’s been nearly a month now, so I figured it’s time I write about my experience with a hybrid vehicle. This is a whole new experience to me and I know for most of you, it’s a little foreign as well.  I’m totally loving my Fusion Energi, and here’s what I’ve learned in the short time since I’ve had it.

A Little Background*

There are essentially 4 types of cars, 3 of which are hybrids (also called electric vehicles, EVs, though one isn’t technically a hybrid). On one end, there are regular gasoline-powered vehicles which run an internal combustion engine (ICE). Everyone is familiar with those and they need no explanation.

Next is the most common type of hybrid, also called a Hybrid Electric Vehicle (HEV), which has an ICE as well as a DC electric capable of driving the car as well. An HEV can get electricity to power the engine in 2 ways: from the engine rotation itself or through regenerative braking. When the car is coasting (as in slowing to a stop), the spinning motor acts as a generator to charge a high voltage battery. Also, electric generators are built into the wheels for regenerative braking. The spinning wheels act like little generators. A property of generators called counter electromotive force is an electromagnetism that resists the spinning of the generator. Normally this is a bad thing, but when used as a brake, becomes a benefit and allows you to actually stop the car without using the brake pads. Some popular HEVs are the Toyota Prius, Honda Insight, Ford Fusion Hybrid and Escape Hybrid.

Let me skip down to the far end of the list with Battery Electric Vehicle (BEV). These cars have a very large battery and run solely on battery power. They can get energy from the motor and regenerative braking as HEVs do, but their primary means of power is being plugged in. They have no ICE whatsoever, so without a means of plugging in, are incapable of running. These cars have a decent range per charge, but aren’t typically designed for long range. The target demographic are people who mainly commute locally (within about 10-20 miles), though I’m told the Tesla Roadster has a range of a few hundred miles on a single charge. Examples include the Tesla Model S Roadster, Nissan Leaf, and the Ford Focus EV.

Finally, there are Plug-In Hybrid Electric Vehicles (PHEVs). These are the “best of both worlds” in my opinion. They operate just like HEVs with the added benefit of a larger battery that can also be plugged in. While you can’t just plug in a standard extension cord, Ford does offer a charging cable that you power from a standard 120V home receptacle. For my car, this takes about 7 hours to fully charge. There are also 240V you can have installed in your home that charge in about 2-1/2 hours. Example include Ford Fusion Energy (my car), Toyota Prius Plug-In, and the Chevy Volt.

How It Has Changed My Driving Style

I think most who know me know I drive pretty fast. I mean how can you not with a Mustang. 🙂 Driving a hybrid almost becomes a game to see how good you can get your gas mileage. There is a decent amount of variability in what kind of fuel economy you get depending on how you drive. Factors such as how quick you take off from a stop, what speed you cruise on roads such as highways, how smoothly you go when traffic is heavy, and how quickly you brake, among other things. It totally changes your outlook on driving. I do whatever I can (within reason) to squeeze as much fuel economy as I can get. My fuel economy has become so bad-ass, it’s giving the finger.

The Obvious and Not-So-Obvious Advantages

Here is a list I’ve formulated in my head:

1. Good for the environment (the hippie answer).
2. Save a bunch of money on gas.  Electricity is cheaper than gas, and even free in some locations, such as where I work.
3. No traffic citations.  I’m not getting pulled over anytime soon driving like I do now.
4. Less car washing required.  What is typically the first indiction that a car needs to be washed?  Brake dust.  Regenerative braking uses the brake pads significantly less, therefore less brake dust.
5. Ready to go in an instant.  No turning over of an ICE means the car is ready to go without warming up.
6. More exercise.  Parking a little further from places to get a free plug-in gives you a reason to do a little more walking.
7. Free ride.  If you make a small trip and stay all electric, you use no gas whatsoever.
8. A sense of community.  It’s almost a sort of club with other EV’ers.
9. You learn more about the physics of how a car drives.
10. Smartphone apps that do things such as letting you check/control your car, or find public places to plug in.

In Conclusion

I’m actually really liking the hybrid lifestyle.  I love the Fusion because it is a great car and one of the few “environmentally friendly” cars you can drive that doesn’t make you look like a dweeb.  I highly recommend getting one if you’re looking to get a new car.  If anyone is interested, in EVs, let me know.  I’d be glad to share what I’ve learned.

* A good reference is available on the CleanAir.org site here: http://www.cleanair.org/sites/default/files/EV%20Fact%20Sheet_0.pdf

The Fall of Humanity Clamoring for the iPhone 6, Plus the Triumph of the Human Spirit

I had the iPhone 6 launch planned to a T. I had my model selected (iPhone 6 Plus, AT&T, 128GB, Space Gray), I had a friend come in from out-of-state waiting with me, I had a place to start a line, and a backup, I walked the perimeter of the mall, scouted out a bathroom, and had even proposed a better way to handle the operation to Mall Security. I had my Buzz Lightyear hoodie on and I was ready. Despite all that, it was utter chaos. I didn’t think Mall Security could have botched it up worse than last year, despite having a viable plan in their hands, but they did.

Travis and I got to Towson Town Center Mall at 9pm Thursday night. We hung out on the corner by where the line would start for about an hour before I went to the car and got our chairs & bags. The next person in line (a really nice guy named Barry) showed up with his son at 11pm. The line started to grow to roughly 20 people at 1am, when a security guard came over and shoed us away. Security’s rules were firm and non-negotiable: no one on property until 6:30am, line at the door starts at 7am, Apple opens at 8, and the line off-property wouldn’t be honored. We proceeded to the other side of the street and resumed the line there. More people started to show and we sat and watched dozens of cars turn in to the mall, only to join us a few minutes later when security kicked them back out.

As Thursday turned into Friday, rumors started circulating in the line (particularly from those closer to the back) that they had no intention of sticking to the line. Naturally, this made those of us who had spent hours waiting more than a little angry. Many people were lined up in their cars waiting to dart across the street (even running a red light) to get their spot in line. It was going to be a huge, dangerous footrace, across a major road, with people and cars competing for first. Travis and I had all our stuff returned to the car by 5am, so we had nothing holding us back.

Everyone was on edge. If someone crossed the road for ANY reason, about a half dozen people followed them out of fear that they were getting in line at the door. At ten minutes to 6 (40 minutes early), people started heading across the street for no reason, which quickly avalanched into everyone dashing for the door. About 5 of us stayed behind. Everyone else, including the cars, were off to the races. Travis managed to get ahead of them all and got to the door first, only to be told by security to go back. He headed back, but most people weren’t budging. When he was about halfway back, security just threw in the towel and told everyone to just line up where they were. I caught up with Travis at this point. There we were, 9 hours later, all that prep and patience, and we were about 200th in line (literally).

We were so disappointed in the whole situation. We were let down by the experience, by mall management, but most of all, we really got a bitter dose of how callused people could be to one another. Fortunately, there were some people in the front that fully acknowledged that we should have been in front because they were there with us. Travis managed to get the attention of the Security Manager and he was willing to listen to us. After one guy came back from the front of the line and said we were with him and a guy right near us in line said, “Yeah, Buzz Lightyear, he was at the front of the line,” the manager said he’d have us talk to the Apple Store Manager, Mary.

When Mary came over, she heard our side of the story and said that she’d take us in and if the lady at the front of the line could vouch for us, she’d let us up there. Barry was at the front of the T-Mobile line and made a point to walk over and told Mary explicitly that we should be up front. At this point, we didn’t know who was up there; it felt a little like a crap shoot. Once we got there, we found that the lady who was there was one we’d been talking to for a while before crossing the street. She said without hesitation that we should be up front, so there we went. The next couple of hours really amazed us. After being so let down by the selfish ways of others, we talked to at least a dozen people along the line that were asking about us and trying to find us to get us (ahead of them, mind you) to the front of the line. Several people, as we walked up, were saying, “alright, Buzz Lightyear, you made it.”

I wish I knew their names. I tried to explicitly thank as many of them as I could (Mary got a hug and I told her she was a hero). They deserve acknowledgments. People like that are why I’ve come out every year. Decent people who all have a common thread. Being able strike up conversations and relate to complete strangers from different points of view, really restores your faith in humanity.

The launch was nothing short of exciting. Clapping, cheering, high-fiving, and generally feeling like a celebrity. After 3 years of attempts, I finally walked out with my shiny, new iPhone.

Well, I’d better get going.  I need to get in line for Anne’s Gold iPhone 6s Plus set to release next year.

P.S.: Did you notice the Easter Egg in this post’s title?

All those white boxes are iPhones.

The line off-property.

Finally there (with the lady who helped us get there photo bombing). 🙂

The Queen of Cookie Sunday

 

Every year, on the 1st Sunday of December, my family converges at my Aunt Carol’s house for the biggest holiday tradition outside of Christmas Day: Cookie Sunday.  I am forever grateful for her hosting the event tirelessly every year for several reasons: it’s a lot of work, it requires a lot of material, she manages to bring the family together, and it’s basically a madhouse from 8am until 6pm.  So what is Cookie Sunday?  It’s an all-day-long, 3-meal, family-driven cookie factory.

Sugar cookies

The support team

The day starts with donuts, then work starts on pinwheels (chocolate and vanilla spiral cookies) and sugar cookies.  Sugar cookies are finished up at lunch time.  Lunch is tuna and chips, toasted on bread from Grandma’s toaster that was made in 1951.  Who is next in line for that toaster is a topic of discussion every year.  After lunch, preparations are made for the long haul: Italian cookies.

A lot of food to feed a lot of people

The coveted toaster

Italian cookies are a multistep process.  It is a true team effort.  Someone makes the dough, a crew rolls the cookies, then I bake them.  Later they are topped and left to dry.  Young and old get together to make it all happen.

One of several bowls of dough

My crew

Everyone does their part.  Even those who aren’t active in the kitchen keep an eye on the young ones.  It’s great talking and catching up with everyone, plus there’s a reward.  There are literally hundreds of cookies churned out and no one shows up without their tins.  It’s a lot of work, but no one complains, everyone has a good time, and they’re always back the next year.

I think we all owe Aunt Carol a big thanks for opening up her home every year and putting together a well-coordinated day, while making it look easy.  All that, and she still has time to get everyone a gift and make personalized aprons for each and every member.  From all of us, thanks Aunt Carol.

I hope this has inspired some to pick up a tradition like this for your own family.  Make it a point to get together every year.  We always say, “we’ll have to get together sometime,” but it’s easy to push things off to the future.  Before you know it, you’ll look back and wonder what happened, why you didn’t spend time with, and get to know, those who are closest to you.  So do something now.  Put it on the calendar.  Make some calls.  You’d be surprised at how much you’ll enjoy it.

Gotta Get Back in Time (Travel)

“Wait a minute, Doc.  Are you telling me that you built a time machine!…out of a DeLorean?”  The way I see it, if you’re going to build a time machine, why not do it with some style?”

A movie that needs no introduction.  Time travel is by far my favorite and most interesting science fiction phenomenon.  So why are so many people captivated by time travel?  In a nutshell, it uses the same mechanism many popular games use that draw people in: a simple, easy-to-understand concept, but infinite possible approaches.  It’s a puzzle that can be solved various different ways.

I’m always a fan of creative storytelling.  Films like The Matrix, Memento, The Prestige, and The Butterfly Effect are just a few examples of brilliant people pushing the envelope of creativity to give us something new.  If I see another cop movie, where the main character’s partner dies in the first 15 minutes , and now he’s out for revenge, I might punch somebody.  So let’s take a look at 5 of my favorite uses of time travel in film, plus some honorable mentions.

Without a doubt when almost anyone thinks of a time travel movie, the Back to the Future Trilogy is the first thing to spring to mind.  It’s fun, comedic, uncomplicated, memorable, it has everything.  The original Back to the Future was conceived when writer Bob Gale found his father’s yearbook and wondered if he met him as a teenager, would they be friends.  Michael J. Fox was the original choice to play Marty, but his Family Ties schedule demanded too much of his time.  Eric Stoltz was his replacement, but after 4 weeks of filming, everyone, including Stoltz, agreed he wasn’t right for the part.  By then, Michael J. Fox’s schedule freed up enough to let him film Family Ties and Back to the Future concurrently.  But, that’s OK, because Eric Stoltz gets his shot in…

The Butterfly Effect was Ashton Kutcher’s venture into serious filming, having just come off of That ’70s Show.  Reviews weren’t that great, but personally, I think Kutcher did a fine job.  As a kid, Evan Treborn has blackouts and can’t remember what happened during them.  He starts keeping a journal.  Years later, in college, he digs them out and reads some of the entries and is transported into the body of his younger self.  Even the slightest action causes a ripple that changes his present-day life dramatically.

In Déjà Vu, Doug Carlin (Denzel Washington) is an ATF agent investigating a terrorist bombing when he joins up with an experimental task force that has managed to find a way to view events in real time four days in the past.  When the question is posed if a person can be sent through, Doug is hellbent on trying to change the events that caused the explosion.

Star Trek (2009) is the first film franchise (that I know of) that managed to pull off a reboot of the series, while still keeping the original films in their continuity.  All the events from the previous films (with Shatner & Nimoy) had played out as presented, but events in this movie cause them to alter their timeline, so now, in the new series, anything is possible.

If you’re a time travel fan like me and want something different, you have to see Primer.  Primer is the brainchild of Shane Carruth, who also starred in the film.  This film only cost a record-breaking $7,000.  If time travel is every really discovered, this is likely how it will happen.  Written by engineers, there is an undeniable realism about it, an engaging story, plus the most well-though-out time travel mechanic I’ve ever seen.  A group of engineers trying to make a cold superconductor, stumble upon time travel, and their lives begin to unravel.  After seeing this movie, you’ll have to see it again.  You won’t know what’s going on the first time through.  But give it a chance and you’ll see how well-crafted it is.

Some honorable mentions are Next (2007) starring Nicolas Cage, Minority Report, Meet the Robinsons, The Time Traveler’s Wife, and Somewhere in Time (1980), starring none other than Christopher Reeve and Jane Seymour.  If you could go back (or forward), what would you do?

How Towson Town Center Management Totally Screwed Me Out of an iPhone 5s

In case this is too long, skip to the VERY brief version at the end labeled [TL:DR] (stands for “Too Long: Didn’t Read”), but I recommend reading it.

It’s that time of year again when the latest iPhone hits the shelves.  It’s Anne’s turn to upgrade and she’s got her heart set on a gold iPhone 5s (I can’t blame her, if it was me, that’s the one I’d get as well).  I’m really excited for her and the fact that it’s not even my phone doesn’t make this episode any less personal.  A little background: last year I pre-ordered my iPhone 5, but stood in line when I found out the arrival date was a Saturday I was out of town.  When I got to the Apple Store, assured a shiny new (albeit white) iPhone 5, it was too late to cancel my pre-order; it was already in the channel.  Luckily it arrived Thursday before I left, so it turned out OK.

 As you’ve probably deduced, if you read the title of this post (which you should; I put a lot of thought into those), I (again) walked away empty handed, but this time, it wasn’t my fault…or Apple’s.  The blame rests squarely on the shoulders of the Towson Town Center General Manager.  Last year, I waited in line for my iPhone 5 starting at midnight and ended up a pretty respectable 45^th in line.  The execution of the launch went spectacular.  So much so, that I was well prepared to wait in line this time, even if pre-orders had been available.  But alas, this year brings a new GM, and he decided to do things a little different.  And thus begins our tale…

 It was a gorgeous 65° on Thursday night at 9pm; closing time for Towson Town Center.  The ropes for the line already laid out for the impending influx of eager current and would-be iPhone owners.  The Apple Store was set to open at 8am, 2 hours early.  It was mandated (by order of the GM) that the mall would be opened so people could wait inside at 6am, but NO ONE was allowed in line OR EVEN ON THE PREMISES until…6am.  Sounds a little hinky.  For starters, that’s not nearly enough time for an iPhone launch (he obviously DOES NOT understand iPhone launches, but more on that later).  I took the chance and parked close to the door, reclined my seat and waited/slept in my car until it was time…well that was the plan, anyway.  I was awoke by a security guard at 3:40am and told I had to wait off the premises.  I moved my car across the street to a strip mall parking lot, where I was near the road leading to the mall entrance.

 Twenty minutes later, at 4am, I hear a car pull in next to me, but no one gets out.  Five minutes after that, another next to that and the occupants start taking.  I get out and, low and behold, they were there for the same thing.  The crowd started to grow a little as we passed 5am.  We began getting concerned about leaving our cars there with a sign stating that mall shoppers would be towed, plus seeing a few tow trucks in the area, waiting to make some cash.  We couldn’t park at the mall because security was chasing people on foot and in cars out of there left and right.  We settled on the Towson Circle parking lot, which was adjoined, but not part of mall property.  We sat just outside of mall property in line-of-sight with the door.  At 5:40am we decided to head over, when we were stopped by security, mid parking lot, to not be on the site until 6am.  Our little group comprised of Stephanie, Amanda, James, Tommy, Patrick, and myself, whom they all acknowledged I was there way before anyone else and should be at the front of the line.  This was a sound plan, and I would have been 1^st in line, but was based on security holding up there end of the bargain and keeping everyone else out until 6.

 Stephanie tried to get some clarification from the tight-lipped guard, which boiled down to “at 6am, people bum-rush the door, and whoever was first, was first.”  We weren’t crazy about that idea, especially since we were legitimately the first people there, but there wasn’t much we could do.  At 5:59am, we started walking.  Halfway across the lot, we saw people starting to run…so we ran.  As we neared the entrance, a security guard steered us toward the back of where the line was set up…then past it.  I was confused, disoriented, going on less than optimal (quantity and quality) sleep, running, and it was dark.  In fact, I was a half a step away from tripping over 2 steps and smashing my face on the concrete.  Where were we going?  Was this misdirection?  Were the ropes a rouse and we were being led to the real entrance?

No.  There was a line of about 40 people that came from the very same lot we were parked in lined up in front of Macy’s, which I might remind you is ON MALL PROPERTY!  No guard at any time said anything about a line forming.  They all repeated (but obviously didn’t follow) the same line dictated from the GM: “No one is allowed in line until 6am.  You must wait off-premises until 6am.”  But there WAS people in line, ON PREMISES, and that was sanctioned by the security guards, as they were leading us to the end of it.

 You may be thinking 45^th is a pretty good spot, right?  After all, that’s where I was last year.  But this year is different.  With 3 colors (white gold, and space gray), 3 capacities (16GB, 32GB, & 64GB), plus 4 different SKUs (versions) with slightly different LTE radios to accommodate differing technologies among regions (such as US, Europe, & China) and carriers, exacerbated by each customer needing a specific carrier (AT&T, Verizon, Sprint, or T-Mobile), Apple’s supply was very limited.  All these phones are made by ONE manufacturer, versus many by Android and others, causing a huge supply chain strain.

 After establishing which models (limited to 2 iPhones per customer) the first 40 people wanted, an Apple employee came down to “the rest of us” to inform us that “there were NO more gold or white iPhone 5s’s, any capacity, any carrier.  So after 10 hours of waiting (mostly in my car) and a lot of confusion and frustration brought about by management, I, and many others with me, walked out with nothing.

 I placed an order through the Apple Store app on Apple.com for an AT&T, gold, 32GB iPhone 5S, which is expected to arrive sometime in October.

 Here is my list of reasons why the GM did a poor job planning and clearly doesn’t understand iPhone launches:

• You don’t create a line (with ropes) to line people up the exact same time you plan to bring them in.  (Side note: for being such a stickler for times, people didn’t start going in until just after 6:30.)
• All the bathrooms were closed
• 6am is WAY too late to start lining people up for an Apple launch*.  Midnight is minimum.  9pm would have been optimal.  (Because the start time was so late, turnout wasn’t nearly what it was in the past.  That’s a loss of business.)
• When the Apple Store opens its doors, it is a huge, exciting event, just short of setting off fireworks.  Every employee (or nearly) is at the door clapping and cheering.  In the past, the line went from the front of the Apple Store, down the mall.  Even the 200^th person could see and hear (and therefore, feel) the excitement.  This time: 20 people in front of the store.  Everybody else: on an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT LEVEL!
• The 2 biggest (shopping) events a mall experiences are iPhone launches and Black Friday.  The two biggest days of the year.  SHOW UP FOR THEM!  (When I called, someone in his management office said he’d be out all day.)

 *When I asked about this to (I assume is) the head of security, he said the new GM didn’t want people camping out in the mall because it wasn’t safe.  Here’s the reality: people are going to camp out and wait.  They always do for iPhone, and even iPad, launches.  I’ve witnessed this many times.  So how is it SAFER to make them wait off-premises, where there’s NO parking garage cover, lighting, or constant security in an OK-but-iffy-part of town.  Not to mention causing people to run like maniacs and almost killing themselves to get the spot in line they are entitled to.

 Well, there you have it.  Learn from this tome.  Pass the story to your children, and your children’s children.  I guess the moral of the story is: I’ll likely be waiting at Christiana Mall next year…or maybe they could just use some systems engineering…which is something I know a little about.

 [TL:DR]

• Go to the mall at 9pm Thursday.  (I was the first one there.)
• Waited in the parking lot until I got the boot at 3:40am.
• Parked just outside the lot and waited with 5 other people (who were the next group of people to arrive).
• Was told by security, “No one is allowed in line until 6am.  You must wait off-premises until 6am.”
• We ran to the door at 6am only to get sent to the back of a line of 40 people that supposedly didn’t exist, on the mall property they weren’t supposed to be on.
• By the first 40 people, Apple was COMPLETELY out of ALL white and gold iPhones.  All capacities.  All carriers.
• Ordered online (expected to arrive “October”) and left…empty handed…again.

Mixes: A Favorite Pastime

Back in my days in the Navy, when computers were starting to take off, I found  a creative outlet in the marriage of 2 things near and dear to my heart: music and movies.  Through some basic software manipulation, I could grab the entire audio track of a movie, save off individual clips, then insert them into a song.  Part of the challenge, that’s not so obvious, is picking the right song/movie combo.  Then from there, it was scouring the movie, grabbing every clip you think you might want, which takes about double the viewing time.  Making the actual mix is the fun part.

Each song had it’s challenges, quirks, oddities, and little things that made you giddy when they worked right.  There were sound quality issues with most, starting from my very first, Secret Agent Mix (Austin Powers with Secret Agent Man by Johnny Rivers).  There was the slightly unsettling shifting between the Huey Lewis and the News songs Power of Love and Back in Time for Mix to the Future (one of my least favorite titles, by the way), that was OK once you got used to it.  SE7EN Mix featured the Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman movie SE7EN with a special instrumental version of Nine Inch Nail’s Closer.  I had a great plan laid out for how this one would go, only to find while making it, the song was way too short.  I had to get innovative and extended the song to about 3-4 times its original length.  Cowboy Mix is the only one that doesn’t feature a movie.  Instead, it is a standup bit by Bill Engvall before the days of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

So why bring all this up now?  Why go on about something I did about 15 years ago?  Because I’ve gone and done it again.  The newest member of the family is the Wreck-It Remix from the movie Wreck-It Ralph and the theme song (heard during the end credits).  If you haven’t seen Wreck-It Ralph yet, hit up Netflix, Redbox, or however you get movies, and check it out.  It’s really good…and funny.  And with this, comes a treat to you, my loyal fans (and any newcomers; I don’t discriminate). I’m providing a link to my Dropbox folder containing all of my mixes, as well as a couple of bonus songs (Bring Me To Life by Evanescence and Nothin’ to Lose by Josh Gracin) that I’ve made some minor tweaks to (very subtle) to make them a little better.

Disclaimer: some of them have cursing in them, so watch out for that, though it’s nowhere near NWA or 2 Live Crew standards (I think I just dated myself).  The artist for the mixes is Madstyles, sort of a “pen name” I suppose.  The sound quality is not exactly pristine (most of them were made using Windows Sound Recorder), but it’s not too bad.  Wreck-It Remix had sound quality considered from the start and was made in GarageBand, so there shouldn’t be any clipping.  Also, if you have problems with the Dropbox link, just let me know.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/r1uwultuyfudd1r/gpH7E-YpIM

and a shorter bitly link to the same place: http://bit.ly/12n1tQ2

I hope you enjoy listening to them as much as I’ve enjoyed making them.  If you listen to any/all, let me know what you think, I’d love the feedback.  Also, if anyone knows a good audio/song sharing free service, maybe even one that will stream them, I’m all ears.

Top 100 iOS Apps

People often ask, “what is a good app for this or that?”  I’ve downloaded and played around with over 1100 apps from the iTunes App Store in the 5 years I’ve owned various iPhones and iPads.  I figured it’s high time I put that knowledge to good use.  Below are 3 lists, divided by device, grouped by category, and ordered by preference with my most favorite (in each category) first.  A few things to note:

• Any references to “iPhone” are basically the same as “iPod touch.”
• Prices are as of May 25, 2013 and are subject to change.
• Almost all iPhone apps also work on iPads in a “compatibility mode” using the center of the screen.
• Universal apps are apps that are designed to look and act like iPhone apps on an iPhone and iPad apps on an iPad.
• “HD” in an app name typically means the iPad only version.  Anywhere in the tables below that mention an app is the “HD version,” I have the corresponding iPhone version in the iPhone table with it’s description.
• All app icons are accurate, so if there are multiple versions or search results, use the icon image as a guide to the actual app I have (icons subject to change by the developer).
• Color coded (blue) rows are just to separate categories.  I tried to group similar categories together.  Category order is the same in all 3 tables.
• Click on the images below to view full size so you can read them.  Feel free to download them if you like.
• I have the original Excel version of these tables, if anyone is interested.

Edited: iPhone app list icon for TodoMovies corrected.

Here is the list of iPhone apps:

Here is the list of Universal apps:

Here is the list of iPad apps:

Enjoy.  Let me know if you found this helpful.

“Are You Listening Closely?”

The title of this post is a take on the lead-in line from the (fantastic) Christopher Nolan film The Prestige, “Are you watching closely?”  It implies that there is more going on than what appears on the surface.  Very fitting for this topic.  I’d like to reflect on some of my favorite examples of the rich layering provided in some song lyrics.

Now, I’m no musician, not by any stretch, but I do appreciate good music.  I can tell you that at the time of this writing I have 2438 songs that span approximately 971 albums in my iTunes library.  Two things draw me to like a song: a good musical sound and good lyrics.  A lot of people give Nickelback a lot of crap because they say all their songs sound the same, but it’s a good sound, so they’re OK in my book.  I’m surprised to find, though, that when asked what a particular song is about, many people, who are fans of the song, don’t know.  Understandably, many songs are left to a great deal of interpretation, so there is that.

Some songs are very subtle, like the “Shh” before each occurrence of the titular line in Sugarland’s It Happens.  Some are a little deeper.  The imagery and how a particular lyric fits the meaning of the song in many ways.  Some songs, such as Miranda Lambert’s Baggage Claim, use the analogy mechanism throughout the entire song.  I’d like to share 3 I’m particularly fond of.

If You’re Going Through Hell – Rodney Atkins: “Use the needle of your compass to sew up your broken heart.” This is one I stumbled upon recently and that line just jumped out and grabbed me.  The metaphor being to use a “needle” to “sew” up your heart, helping you get over something.  I find it particularly clever how he uses a compass “needle,” signifying that the catalyst for healing his heart is going on a journey, albeit physical or spiritual.  A lot of good content packed into one line.

Cumbersome – Seven Mary Three: “There is a balance between two worlds, one with an arrow and a cross.”  This song, released in 1996, is about a guy who is growing bored with his life.  My comprehension of this line is the balance between men and women, about how both must compromise to live together.  The “worlds” are the different perspectives between men and women, as well as circles.  One circle with an arrow (the Mars, or male, symbol) and one circle with a cross (the Venus, or female, symbol).

Welcome To The Future – Brad Paisley: “My grandpa was in World War II, he fought against the Japanese.  He wrote a hundred letters to my grandma; mailed ’em from his base in the Philippines.  I wish they could see this now, where they say this change can go.  ‘Cause I was on a video chat this morning with a company in Tokyo.”  The obvious message here, as is a running theme in the entire song, is the advancement of technology.  His grandfather is writing letters that have to be sent from prearranged locations by mail and take days, contrasted by Brad conversing in real time, using video, from almost anywhere, instantly.  However, there is a lot more going on under the surface.  There are political undertones in this verse.  Some subtleties many don’t notice are how our grandparents grew up during World War II, where the country was supporting the war, and men feared being drafted.  Today, business rules the world.  Capitalism is growing.  Also, foreign policy has changed.  The very country his grandfather was fighting, Brad was conducting business with.  There are so many things going on in that song, it’s great.  And yes, I do have PacMan on my phone.

There are so many others out there that deserve mention.  The almost perfect chronology of world events, elegantly put to rhyme and music in Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start The Fire.  Bon Jovi really personifies days of the week in Someday I’ll Be Saturday Night.  Look up Alabama Governor George Wallace and you’ll realize why in Sweet Home Alabama, “In Birmingham, they love the governor” is followed by “boo boo boo.”  Linkin Park has pain and regret for things they’ve done and are going to Bleed It Out.  In I Just Called To Say I Love You, Stevie Wonder walks you through and entire year, from New Year’s to Christmas, of holidays and special occasions.  Toes by the Zac Brown Band illustrates the realization that paradise isn’t a location, it’s a state of mind.  He goes to someplace with “bikinis and palm trees” until he runs out of money and has to return home to Georgia.  But in the last verse, he makes his own paradise in a lawn chair by the lake.

There is so much to many of the songs we hear each day.  Sometimes you just have to listen and see what’s lurking under the upbeat melody and catchy chorus.  If you’re in your car, you might as well, not like you’ve got anything better to do.

If you have a favorite I missed, leave a reply below in the comment section.